Don't only the crazies need to take pills?
The though of going gives me chills.
On medication, how will I be?
Will I really feel like I am me?
Zombie is the way people often describe.
Of course it depends the pill they prescribe.
Let's play with my head like it's a game.
I know that things won't feel the same.
Depression is something I want somehow.
I want to be exactly as I am now.
I can't remember a time ever being without.
But my head shouldn't be filled with doubt.
I know that depression can really kill.
I've felt what it does, but somehow still...
Depression has become my abusive partner.
No matter how much it hurts, I only want her.
But
I sit here and think of you.
Sometimes it seems that's all I do.
Loneliness is all that I feel.
It almost seems like you're not real.
To hold you close would be bliss.
To feel your warmth, your touch, your kiss.
It drives me crazy that you're not here,
And won't be for a whole year.
Being with you is all that I see,
But until then, loneliness will engulf me.
Dizzy, swirly, can't stay straight.
The help I seek will come too late.
Thoughts are all muddled in head.
I can't even tell what I have said.
Heart is thumping, head is aching,
labored breathing, body shaking.
Pull it together, you'll be okay.
Just gotta take it day by day.
Slow your breath and lay real still.
Those thoughts will only make you ill.
It's tough to know where to begin.
Just start simple. Breathe out, breathe in.
Dizzy, dizzy. What's wrong with me?
My thoughts used to be so free.
I don't know what's clouding my mind.
Grasping for a reason to find.
Sluggish feeling. I want to stay here.
With this distance nothing seems near.
Doctor says that I'm just fine.
Tell that to this feeling of mine.
But with depression and anxiety rising,
This feeling isn't really surprising.
Gotta fix it. There must be a way.
It continues day after day.
This depressing feeling brings me down.
No way to fix it that I've found.
But I gotta try even more.
I want things back how they were before.